Kindly forgiven

They won’t go to school to learn about me,
    or buy a book called God in Five Easy Lessons.
They’ll all get to know me firsthand,
    the little and the big, the small and the great.
They’ll get to know me by being kindly forgiven,
    with the slate of their sins forever wiped clean.

Hebrews 8:11-12

The truth is on the face.

Acts 6:15 MSG

"As all those who sat on the High Council looked at Stephen, they found they couldn't take their eyes off him—his face was like the face of an angel!"

節錄

「我不能夠隨便問，
因為我都不肯定自己能否接納。

所以最終，這是我的問題。

因為我覺得上帝可以完全接納像我一樣的罪人，
我真的是一個罪人，犯過很多錯；
但我這罪人反而接納不到跟自己一樣的人，
我覺得這是我的軟弱。

我是覺得，我有不好的感覺，我要將這個感覺帶給上帝，
而不是帶向當事人。

我視這個是我和上帝之間的考驗。

我一直在看，一直在感受，想了很久，才下這個決定。

好有趣呢，你讀過約伯記嗎?
人人都知道它關於苦難
但它其實不是想討論苦難的真相
而是想看看不同的人在苦難中怎樣談論上帝。
所以有趣的是，談了那麼久，傾了那麼多看法，
其實我們只是更了解大家是怎樣去理解人、關係、一些懸疑未知的生命關口。

所以我有時想，急不來也不用急，因為不到我們決定。
更重要的可能是我們怎樣理解自己跟上帝的關係吧。

當然我說這句話的時候，我現實是一點都不好受。」

主啊，這人將來如何?

Turning his head, Peter noticed the disciple Jesus loved following right behind. When Peter noticed him, he asked Jesus, “Master, what’s going to happen to him?” Jesus said, “If I want him to live until I come again, what’s that to you? You—follow me.” That is how the rumor got out among the brothers that this disciple wouldn’t die. But that is not what Jesus said. He simply said, “If I want him to live until I come again, what’s that to you?”

(John 21:20-23, MSG)

我常常問耶穌這個問題。

「關你什麼事?」耶穌是這樣回答。這個答案，我真是想了很久。
喂，這種事不關己的態度，那關心別人是從何談起呢? 心裡在反抗。

尤其是心裡被別的人和事刺激起來，心裡很難不問。我控制不了。

有時控制不了的事，我不會歸咎於自己。我的生命太多污點，有軟弱太正常了。
我就等候，看看上帝怎樣回答。

今早沒有機會一個人默想，但心裏一直徘徊一個聲音。
打開聖經，看Message，看見一個keyword。
"What’s that to you? You—follow me."

You，你。

是的。當你問耶穌一個問題，你是為了什麼呢?
你是真的為了別人，還是為了自己?
如果是為了自己心中的苦毒與不安，那上帝就會反問：關你什麼事?

人生苦短，生命的指標，是要指向哪一個方向?

※   ※   ※

星期日的講道精彩。

傳道人用約西亞的經歷說未來。
當一個得到耶和華空前讚賞的王，政績如日方中的時候，
被告知他多年來所做的宗教改革，
最終肯定無法讓猶大免於被滅；
當一個人發現自己所做的在身後終是徒勞，
那這人應該怎樣自處?

約西亞的選擇是繼續做他應該做的事，活好今日。

※    ※    ※

放下自己，不再是我，乃是基督在我裏面活著。

What actually took place is this: I tried keeping rules and working my head off to please God, and it didn’t work. So I quit being a “law man” so that I could be God’s man. Christ’s life showed me how, and enabled me to do it. I identified myself completely with him. Indeed, I have been crucified with Christ. My ego is no longer central. It is no longer important that I appear righteous before you or have your good opinion, and I am no longer driven to impress God. Christ lives in me. The life you see me living is not “mine,” but it is lived by faith in the Son of God, who loved me and gave himself for me. I am not going to go back on that.

Is it not clear to you that to go back to that old rule-keeping, peer-pleasing religion would be an abandonment of everything personal and free in my relationship with God? I refuse to do that, to repudiate God’s grace. If a living relationship with God could come by rule-keeping, then Christ died unnecessarily.

(Galatians 2:19-21, MSG)

啊，這太震撼我了。

這是我的功課!

貫通全身的罪

16-19 Here are six things God hates,and one more that he loathes with a passion:eyes that are arrogant,a tongue that lies,hands that murder the innocent,a heart that hatches evil plots,feet that race down a wicked track,a mouth that lies under oath,a troublemaker in the family.

罪惡是一件貫通全身的事，由心開始。

當有一個邪惡的想法在心中出現的時候，那時一切還只是風平浪靜；
然後從眼透露出高傲，腳被心指使而飛跑行惡，舌頭是促使事情順利地發生的，
手是實際執行者，然後是諉過他人的口，最終成為羣體中散播與延續仇恨的成員。

一切的能量都由心靈供應。

默想與靈修的精神也在於此：將供應罪惡的能量，從心靈的總掣斷絕，或者轉移，
令眼目由高傲變為慈愛，腳被心指使而行善，舌頭促使事情順利的發生，
手成為實際執行者，然後是建立他人的口，最終成為羣體中散播與延續恩典的成員。

默想與靈修，不是一種工具，而是讓心靈有所跟隨與依靠。

「往着標竿直跑」的誤解

2-6 Steer clear of the barking dogs, those religious busybodies, all bark and no bite. All they’re interested in is appearances—knife-happy circumcisers, I call them. The real believers are the ones the Spirit of God leads to work away at this ministry, filling the air with Christ’s praise as we do it. We couldn’t carry this off by our own efforts, and we know it—even though we can list what many might think are impressive credentials. You know my pedigree: a legitimate birth, circumcised on the eighth day; an Israelite from the elite tribe of Benjamin; a strict and devout adherent to God’s law; a fiery defender of the purity of my religion, even to the point of persecuting the church; a meticulous observer of everything set down in God’s law Book.

7-9 The very credentials these people are waving around as something special, I’m tearing up and throwing out with the trash—along with everything else I used to take credit for. And why? Because of Christ. Yes, all the things I once thought were so important are gone from my life. Compared to the high privilege of knowing Christ Jesus as my Master, firsthand, everything I once thought I had going for me is insignificant—dog dung. I’ve dumped it all in the trash so that I could embrace Christ and be embraced by him. I didn’t want some petty, inferior brand of righteousness that comes from keeping a list of rules when I could get the robust kind that comes from trusting Christ—God’s righteousness.

10-11 I gave up all that inferior stuff so I could know Christ personally, experience his resurrection power, be a partner in his suffering, and go all the way with him to death itself. If there was any way to get in on the resurrection from the dead, I wanted to do it.

12-14 I’m not saying that I have this all together, that I have it made. But I am well on my way, reaching out for Christ, who has so wondrously reached out for me. Friends, don’t get me wrong: By no means do I count myself an expert in all of this, but I’ve got my eye on the goal, where God is beckoning us onward—to Jesus. I’m off and running, and I’m not turning back.

15-16 So let’s keep focused on that goal, those of us who want everything God has for us. If any of you have something else in mind, something less than total commitment, God will clear your blurred vision—you’ll see it yet! Now that we’re on the right track, let’s stay on it.

「往着標竿直跑」的敘述，原來一直以來都沒有清楚地了解。

我們真的太習慣了斷章取義，不求甚解，自我感覺良好的經文順手拿來，作為自我安慰和鼓勵他人的工具。

如果回朔前段，保羅正在提及的，是一個有關於律法主義的問題──我們總是習慣透過用體或者自身的能力嘗試成就基督的訓勉和要求，也祈使他人如此作，而不是透過親近上帝而得著。我們都很努力，但是態度和焦點都無意中放錯了。我們過份地相信自我，覺得自己可以完成這些事情而不需要上帝對我們生命的全權掌管，或者可能只是請求祂推我們一把，讓我們自覺可以憑一己之力而達成目標。

就這件事，保羅作了一個終極性的比較。他拿自己作為對象，向讀者挑戰：如果你要看憑己力成聖的完美例子，他就曾經是一個人辦。出身根正苗紅，聖經知識豐富，生活起居純正得無可指責，這是所有人眼中的完人。

但是這個「完人」，自從大馬色的路上遇見上帝的詰問，他發現用這個態度去生活，是完全錯了，錯到一個地步，要把這些東西全部扔到垃圾桶。為什麼呢? 因為他發現這非但不能將自己帶到上帝面前，反而是「有損」的，自義會將他帶離開上帝。去到一個極端，甚至以自義來逼迫他人，眼看別人被殺也感到「歡喜」。他要丟棄的，不是律法本身，而是靠守住律法來成聖的人生態度，取而代之的是靠向上帝，認識上帝，從新將上帝放到生命的核心。義本身是上帝的，不是人的。

「內在的義乃是從上帝而來的禮物。」（頁13，《屬靈操練禮讚》）

但保羅之後提醒說，不要以為他這樣說，就是自己已經「得著了」、完全掌握了這個道理。他要強調我們應該極力避開「自己已達成什麼」的自義理解，而要說清楚，這是一個目標、一個過程，永遠沒有達成的一天，也沒有從此完美的保證。但前提是，舊的要「忘記」（扔掉），前面要努力，要有這種起步的體認，前面的路縱有模糊，但上帝會讓我們看清楚要追求的是祂自己。這條路不是讓人自我感覺良好的道路，但放低自我，謙卑順服，恆久忍耐，這條路才是上帝要求我們的道路。

感謝主，我只能夠走上這條不安而順服的路。

克己順服

我想我還是適合做一個簡簡單單手潔心清的人，只是我走不到回頭的路。

或者救恩之所以重要，正是因為回不到過去；這證明人靠己力真的無法自救。

人因為軟弱，每天都要靠上帝的幫助才僅僅得以生存，實在沒有自大起來的理由。

我不想用一次得救的理論，來為自己的生活開脫。

或者，真正應該克己的，不是所謂生活的每個小節決定，而是從清晨都晚間，從歲首到年終，都立志靠近上帝，祈禱再祈禱，讀經再讀經。

如果不羈不起，不如做個順服的笨人。